Time is a weird thing - sometimes it is fleeting, flowing like water through our fingers as we try to clasp it with our hands. Other times it is cursed as we impatiently wait for it to pass. I can't believe it has been two months since my Dad passed away. Sometimes, I feel like it was forever ago as I remember funeral images and hospice images...those painful experiences we push to places that we don't want to recollect. Other times, it seems like yesterday. That, I am sure, is because my Dad is helping me.
It's been about 10 years since I have regularly attended church. I was unable to find one like Queen of Angels after we left Dickinson many years ago. One of the pallbearers at my Dad's funeral was the son of a close friend from my Dickinson church days. Dave told me about a church he loved, and...it's right here in Corpus Christi, Texas!! How did I miss that? I went to the church and fell in love with it. I have found a place where my soul finds it's refreshment and nourishment...and it's because of the ties my Dad had. Remember the choir entry? Well, this church has a CHOIR. A huge organ to accompany them as they sing Latin, Gregorian Chant, modern pieces in 6 parts, polyphonic pieces...it is, as my Dad would say, "A Whacking Good Choir". Auditions are in August. God willing, I will become a member and attend the practices, singing with joy (kleenex in pockets!).
Another thing... in the past, I would often express my lack of self confidence in what I was doing, where I was going, all those kinds of questions a daughter asks her Dad. Generally rhetorical in nature, we don't expect much as a response. But my Dad's response never changed, never wavered. "Do the best you can with what you've got." Period. I would saunter away, head low, wondering if I was destined to always wonder about this. Fast forward --- my employer's annual evaluation was a few weeks ago. Suffice to say, it was glowing. I am on the literally on the right track. After spending so much time to get this terminal degree, working hard, working long hours, doing the best I can with what I've got....it was so reaffirming to hear the accolades, to read the glowing summative evaluation, to know I am living my purpose and making a difference – all by doing the best I can with what I’ve got.
A lot of personal issues that have seemed so looming in the past now seem so much more manageable. I have learned so many lessons from my Dad both in life and as a result of his death. I can't enumerate all of them yet...it is too fresh. But,hopefully, you will continue to check back and read the legacy, the story that my father left as precious memories and life altering changes occur in his family. There are more --- so many more.
Continuing to do the best I can with what I've got - and knowing I have an extra hand to help me along the way.
